First Time for Everything

Today Peanut was a mess. We left for school and he told me he was not going to cry. Less than 10 seconds later, of course,  he was crying. We walked a bit further down the sidewalk and then told me he flat out refused to go to school. I tried talking to him calmly while telling him he has to go to school. He was crying harder at this point and refused to walk any more. I told him he needs to keep walking and that he does not have a choice. Then he breaks my heart: “I do not love you, you are the worse mom ever.” Cool. We keep walking some more (and by we, I mean I am practically dragging him). I told him that I still loved him but he has to go to school to learn and make friends, etc. Heartbreak #2: “I hate you. You are a loser”. Whoa. I stopped him there and told him he was allowed to be mad and even angry with me but he is not allowed, under any circumstance, to call me names. I forget what he said at that point other than something to the effect that he said it so he would never have to see me again…Good times.

I attempt to drop him off at the playground which is the protocol at the school. He was screaming, crying, and pulling on my shirt. !!!! Peanut. My sweet boy…WTF?! The bell rang and I left with us both miserable after I told him I loved him and would pick him up right after school.

I don’t think there is anything terrible or bad going on at the school. I have triple checked that with him. So I am thinking he is angry and scared because he has no choice in this. Did I give him too many choices before so now when he is forced to do something he does not want to do it is now this huge problem? What makes me so upset is not the fact that he said those words to me, it is the fact that he felt so alone or scared that he resorted to that action….

My Peanut told me he hates me and I never thought that would happen so soon! Little shit.